Archive for Ramones

The Top Ten Greatest Songs about Food

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 28, 2010 by peteymenz

(Soon to be followed by the top ten greatest songs about buildings.).

10.  Bocabola (I am Cola)- Boredoms

Lyric sample: “EVERYBODY DRINK YOU UP IN THE COLA!”  The other parts are completely incoherent.

9. Cheeseburger in Paradise- Jimmy Buffett

So, this song is about a guy who tries to go vegetarian, but simply can’t.  Even his beloved carrot juice can’t take him away from the “American creation on which [he] feeds”- a cheeseburger.  Honestly, I’m a little worried about Mr. Buffett; he’s sung about drinking margaritas all day and how much he loves cheeseburgers, but he’s never sung about diet or exercise.  To be fair, he does mention how much he likes onions and tomatoes on his burgers.  Sadly, this proves that he really doesn’t know the meaning of the word “carnivorous.”

8. Teengenerate- The Dictators

This song devotes about fifteen lines to describing the titular “teengenerate.”  What’s interesting about this is how most of the lines are about the food the guy eats.  When we first see him, he has a sandwich in his hand.  Also, he eats eggs all day long.  Which is kind of weird.  I really hope he changes it up a bit; scrambled eggs for breakfast, hard-boiled eggs for lunch, etc.

7. Vegetables- The Beach Boys

This song deserves its spot here for two reasons.  First of all, it’s about how much Brian Wilson loves eating his vegetables.  Secondly, the percussion track is Paul McCartney chewing vegetables.  Greatest use of bizarre instrumentation since the Japanoise band the Gerogerigegege recorded a track which consisted of their frontman pooping several times.

6. I Just Wanna Have Something to Do- Ramones

“Hanging out on second avenue/Eating chicken vindaloo.”  Oh, Joey Ramone.  What happened to your pizza loyalty?

4. All You Can Eat- The Fat Boys

Most likely the greatest rap group ever.  Instead of being ganstas (like NWA), weirdos (like De La Soul), Philip K. Dick fans (Company Flow), or white people (Beastie Boys), they were fat.  That was their claim to fame.  This song shows how they got there.  They want it all- mac and cheese, baloney, salami, ham, chicken, toast.  The whole shebang.  Except for lettuce.

3. Too Much Paranoias- Devo


2.  Beautiful Food- Edan

I’m guessing this is Edan’s tribute to the Fat Boys, based on the fact that this is basically just the Boston rapper listing foods.  But Edan is, of course, an indie rapper, and he’s not listing no regular foods. Nah, it’s all about the granola fruit bars and the zucchini ziti.

3. Bar-B-Q Pope- The Butthole Surfers

“They shot the pope, and I feel good.”  Now that is some virulent anti-Catholicism.

1.  Food Play- Lady Sovereign

Three lyric samples:

“You could cover me in porridge… oh, porridge.”

I may never be able to hear the story of Goldilocks again.

“You don’t need to eat that burger sauce, just rub it around your lips”

No manners whatsoever!

“English breakfast, a sexy english breakfast.”

Wait.  Did she just call English food “sexy?”  English food?


The Immediate Stages Of Genius:The Mars LP

Posted in No Wave, Record Reviews, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on July 31, 2008 by peteymenz


A band starts out trying to play rock and roll, can’t play anyone else’s songs, writes their own.  In the case of the Ramones, “I Don’t Wanna Walk Around With You” is created.  In the case of Mars, a song about Proust, “3E” is created.  The Ramones go on to write “I Wanna Be Sedated”.  Mars go on to write “Puerto Rican Ghost”, a one minute “song” that is a better distillation of abstract rage than any hardcore punk.  The point is clear- yes, you really can do anything you wanna do. Mars wrote songs featuring S&M with robots, interjections of Egyptian consonants, and coughs as vocals, all laid over postapocalyptic soundscapes where addled mutants scream.  This is not elevator music.  There are no hooks or any real musical precedent.  But Mars are one of the most important bands ever because of the sheer sound they smashed out of their instruments, the textures, the timbre, the POWER of the raw noise!  The Mars LP is a record to be played loud because it is a sensual record; that is, it is one that is to be felt, not to be heard. If it is played only once (all 32 minutes), it will stay with you, from the guitars of “Helen Fordsdale” imitating insects, Sumner Crane muttering “SCORN!” in an imitation of a homeless man, the two second reprise of “Outside Africa” sputters into implosion, China Burg mumbling threateningly in “11,000 Volts”, Nancy Arlen’s beat(!) holding down “Monopoly” as guitars twitch and hum, the guitar jack being pushed in and out to create noise in “The Immediate Stages of the Erotic”, better music for a bondage performance than Merzbow ever recorded.   The record is disturbing, frightening music.  But it is glorious because it is music to play on the sidewalk obnoxiously, to listen to at three in the morning three times in a row, to overdrive through a guitar amp and marvel at.  The only other artwork I can compare it to is a Jackson Pollock action painting; they are both beautiful yet hold no elements of beauty.

This and the Teenage Jesus & The Jerks/Beirut Slump anthology are the reissues of the year.    Forget U2.  Forget anything else on earth for thirty two minutes and play this record, which is currently available at a (gasp) reasonable price, making it the only in print edition of Mars’ discography that includes their original mix of the Mars EP.  Currently, Complete Studio Recordings 1977-78 (its contents equivalent to this) can be found secondhand at Amazon for 100 dollars.  So buy The Mars LP now.