(Soon to be followed by the top ten greatest songs about buildings.).
10. Bocabola (I am Cola)- Boredoms
Lyric sample: “EVERYBODY DRINK YOU UP IN THE COLA!” The other parts are completely incoherent.
9. Cheeseburger in Paradise- Jimmy Buffett
So, this song is about a guy who tries to go vegetarian, but simply can’t. Even his beloved carrot juice can’t take him away from the “American creation on which [he] feeds”- a cheeseburger. Honestly, I’m a little worried about Mr. Buffett; he’s sung about drinking margaritas all day and how much he loves cheeseburgers, but he’s never sung about diet or exercise. To be fair, he does mention how much he likes onions and tomatoes on his burgers. Sadly, this proves that he really doesn’t know the meaning of the word “carnivorous.”
8. Teengenerate- The Dictators
This song devotes about fifteen lines to describing the titular “teengenerate.” What’s interesting about this is how most of the lines are about the food the guy eats. When we first see him, he has a sandwich in his hand. Also, he eats eggs all day long. Which is kind of weird. I really hope he changes it up a bit; scrambled eggs for breakfast, hard-boiled eggs for lunch, etc.
7. Vegetables- The Beach Boys
This song deserves its spot here for two reasons. First of all, it’s about how much Brian Wilson loves eating his vegetables. Secondly, the percussion track is Paul McCartney chewing vegetables. Greatest use of bizarre instrumentation since the Japanoise band the Gerogerigegege recorded a track which consisted of their frontman pooping several times.
“Hanging out on second avenue/Eating chicken vindaloo.” Oh, Joey Ramone. What happened to your pizza loyalty?
4. All You Can Eat- The Fat Boys
Most likely the greatest rap group ever. Instead of being ganstas (like NWA), weirdos (like De La Soul), Philip K. Dick fans (Company Flow), or white people (Beastie Boys), they were fat. That was their claim to fame. This song shows how they got there. They want it all- mac and cheese, baloney, salami, ham, chicken, toast. The whole shebang. Except for lettuce.
3. Too Much Paranoias- Devo
“I THINK I GOT A BIG MAC ATTACK!!!!!!!!”
2. Beautiful Food- Edan
I’m guessing this is Edan’s tribute to the Fat Boys, based on the fact that this is basically just the Boston rapper listing foods. But Edan is, of course, an indie rapper, and he’s not listing no regular foods. Nah, it’s all about the granola fruit bars and the zucchini ziti.
3. Bar-B-Q Pope- The Butthole Surfers
“They shot the pope, and I feel good.” Now that is some virulent anti-Catholicism.
1. Food Play- Lady Sovereign
Three lyric samples:
“You could cover me in porridge… oh, porridge.”
I may never be able to hear the story of Goldilocks again.
“You don’t need to eat that burger sauce, just rub it around your lips”
No manners whatsoever!
“English breakfast, a sexy english breakfast.”
Wait. Did she just call English food “sexy?” English food?