Archive for Boredoms

The Top Ten Greatest Songs about Food

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 28, 2010 by peteymenz

(Soon to be followed by the top ten greatest songs about buildings.).

10.  Bocabola (I am Cola)- Boredoms

Lyric sample: “EVERYBODY DRINK YOU UP IN THE COLA!”  The other parts are completely incoherent.

9. Cheeseburger in Paradise- Jimmy Buffett

So, this song is about a guy who tries to go vegetarian, but simply can’t.  Even his beloved carrot juice can’t take him away from the “American creation on which [he] feeds”- a cheeseburger.  Honestly, I’m a little worried about Mr. Buffett; he’s sung about drinking margaritas all day and how much he loves cheeseburgers, but he’s never sung about diet or exercise.  To be fair, he does mention how much he likes onions and tomatoes on his burgers.  Sadly, this proves that he really doesn’t know the meaning of the word “carnivorous.”

8. Teengenerate- The Dictators

This song devotes about fifteen lines to describing the titular “teengenerate.”  What’s interesting about this is how most of the lines are about the food the guy eats.  When we first see him, he has a sandwich in his hand.  Also, he eats eggs all day long.  Which is kind of weird.  I really hope he changes it up a bit; scrambled eggs for breakfast, hard-boiled eggs for lunch, etc.

7. Vegetables- The Beach Boys

This song deserves its spot here for two reasons.  First of all, it’s about how much Brian Wilson loves eating his vegetables.  Secondly, the percussion track is Paul McCartney chewing vegetables.  Greatest use of bizarre instrumentation since the Japanoise band the Gerogerigegege recorded a track which consisted of their frontman pooping several times.

6. I Just Wanna Have Something to Do- Ramones

“Hanging out on second avenue/Eating chicken vindaloo.”  Oh, Joey Ramone.  What happened to your pizza loyalty?

4. All You Can Eat- The Fat Boys

Most likely the greatest rap group ever.  Instead of being ganstas (like NWA), weirdos (like De La Soul), Philip K. Dick fans (Company Flow), or white people (Beastie Boys), they were fat.  That was their claim to fame.  This song shows how they got there.  They want it all- mac and cheese, baloney, salami, ham, chicken, toast.  The whole shebang.  Except for lettuce.

3. Too Much Paranoias- Devo


2.  Beautiful Food- Edan

I’m guessing this is Edan’s tribute to the Fat Boys, based on the fact that this is basically just the Boston rapper listing foods.  But Edan is, of course, an indie rapper, and he’s not listing no regular foods. Nah, it’s all about the granola fruit bars and the zucchini ziti.

3. Bar-B-Q Pope- The Butthole Surfers

“They shot the pope, and I feel good.”  Now that is some virulent anti-Catholicism.

1.  Food Play- Lady Sovereign

Three lyric samples:

“You could cover me in porridge… oh, porridge.”

I may never be able to hear the story of Goldilocks again.

“You don’t need to eat that burger sauce, just rub it around your lips”

No manners whatsoever!

“English breakfast, a sexy english breakfast.”

Wait.  Did she just call English food “sexy?”  English food?


Album of the Year: Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix

Posted in Record Reviews, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 2, 2010 by peteymenz

Despite the return of Lightning Bolt (with the most anticlimactic release of the year), another Super Roots EP from Boredoms, the masterful drones of Sunn 0))), and the continued prolificacy of Merzbow, 2009 was all about accessibility, even in the so-called “indie” scene. That’s why Bitte Orca is considered to be the greatest album thus far by Dirty Projectors, even though it only slightly edges out 2007’s Rise Above, and why Animal Collective’s Merriweather Post Pavillion is considered to be the Brooklyn band’s finest hour. Conversely, it’s the reason why Black Dice’s Repo and No Age’s Losing Feeling EP failed to attract any significant attention- both were fairly noisy efforts, with Black Dice failing to make the Animal Collective transition from epic free noise explorations to bouncy electronic pop, and No Age slightly backing off from the indelible melodies of 2008’s Nouns. And if 2009 was all about accessibility, then Phoenix’s Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix is without a doubt the album of the year. Despite the French band’s dedication to snappy and instantly catchy pop songs (the 2000 single “If I Ever Feel Better” still ranks among their best songs), their albums have always contained either embarrassingly 80’s pastiche tracks (On Fire from 2000’s United), anemic and hookless soft rock songs (roughly half of Alphabetical), or overlong instrumentals (“North” from It’s Never Been Like That). What this means is that while Dirty Projectors and Animal Collective made their most accessible albums to date by cutting back on their intriguingly experimental tendencies, Phoenix were able to make their most accessible album to date by simply cutting out the lesser tracks. The two aforementioned bands stepped down; Phoenix stepped up. Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix is short- less than 40 minutes long- and does not contain a single track that’s less than addictive. From the quick rip of “Lasso” to the extended jam of “Love Like A Sunset,” Phoenix cover a fair bit of ground, but keep it punchy enough to never sound desperate. All hail the French.

How To Be Cool: The Playlist

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 13, 2009 by peteymenz


Let’s face it- everyone wants to be cool.  Not everyone may want to be popular, but there is a difference between “popular” and “cool”.  To give examples from film: Popular is George Lucas.  Cool is Jean-Luc Godard.  While many may enjoy “Star Wars: Episode IV” more than “Masculin-Féminin”, no one really wants to be George Lucas.   But how does one become cool, short of making 60s avant-garde art films? The easiest way is to listen to the right music.  Books, though postmodernism is very cool, are not a social activity; though alienation is definitely cool, one has to possess a modicum of coolness before reading to be cool.  Movies are just as easy as music, but music takes less time to do.  It takes 12 hours to watch Jacques Rivette’s magnum opus “Out 1”- and when it concludes you are very cool- but it takes less than forty minutes to listen to the 1979 compilation album “No New York”, featuring some of the most aggressively painful music ever recorded.  Once the four bands on that album- James Chance and the Contortions, Teenage Jesus and the Jerks, Mars, and DNA- finish scraping their detuned guitars, shattered saxophones, and atonal keyboards all over your brain, you are cool enough to write for the Village Voice, and it took you less than an hour.  But what makes a cool band? It’s extremely difficult to judge this, as one has to take in all kinds of different factors; if the band was featured on the soundtrack to a Quentin Tarantino film, it instantly becomes cool, and even more so if featured on the soundtrack to a David Lynch film.  But it can be hard to sort through all of these different factors, especially when one is buying sunglasses to wear when one is cool.   So, without further ado, I give you the Sparknotes for cool- a playlist of the coolest, hippest tracks one can listen to- all somewhat old of course, as retro is always cool.  

1) “Go Bang! #5 (Francois K Mix)”- Dinosaur L: The first reason downtown musician Arthur Russell’s improvisational disco project  is cool is because of the name.  If anyone asks you what you are listening to, they will instantly assume you mean the late 80s rock band Dinosaur Jr.  And when they attempt to correct you, you can say “Actually, I do mean Dinosaur L.  You don’t know them? They came first”.  Snarky corrections, especially dealing with obscure New York music, are good for instant coolness.  But what about the actual song?  It’s a dance track, which is cool as long as you don’t dance to it.  Also contains references to gay hedonism.  Coolness ensured.  

2) “We Are The One”- The Avengers: The style of this song- speedy, immediately pre-hardcore punk rock from San Francisco- is cool first and foremost because of the trebly guitar that despite playing a fairly catchy punk riff, manages to still be headache-inducing, and any band that induces a headache without playing at maximum volume is pretty cool.  Most of the coolness in this track, however, comes from its lyrics- singer Penelope Houston proclaims that the band are not Jesus, fascists, communists, or capitalists- they are simply “the one”.  Vagueness can never be uncool.

3) “Secrets”- Mission of Burma: Any song by this band can give anyone instant coolness by sheer dint of the band name- it has just enough political vagueness and memorability to make it the coolest band name ever- but this song is perhaps the coolest.  Starting out with a minute and a half of one guitar chord being hammered into the ground, drums and bass backing it up solidly, the song enters maximum coolness during this first sequence; at about one minute in, the drums and bass cut out and band member Martin Swope plays the drums backwards, while guitarist Roger Miller keeps up his assault.  Instrumentally speaking, one can’t be quite as badass as that.

4) “Melody”- Serge Gainsbourg: Concept albums are definitely not cool, as they often revolve around clumsily allegorized aliens, idiotic Cold War metaphors, and those goshdarn pinball wizards.  However, when Serge Gainsbourg, French pervert second only to the Marquis de Sade, decides to make a song suite about having sex with a minor, the concept album becomes cool.  The epic subversion is prevalent on the opening track, detailing Serge’s exploits on the road, leading to him hitting Melody Nelson’s bike with his car.  It unfolds like a soap opera combined with phone sex- not cool by itself, but when tied into a concept album, cool as Clint Eastwood 

5) “God From Anal”- Boredoms: The coolness in this track doesn’t arise from the noisy, sometime a capella, vocalizing of lead vocalist Yamatsuka Eye (though it certain helps), but rather the ability to say the title with a straight face.  If you can do the same while listening to the track, you are cooler than Miles Davis.